Sick with envy

On the spiritual path one may encounter obstacles; antarshatrus (inner enemies) are part of one’s prarabdh (that portion of the sanchit - collection of past life karmas - that influences you in your present incarnation) which will come up as one progresses through one’s karmas and moves closer to the One and Only One. These inner enemies must be defeated in order to move forward on your spiritual path and attain liberation. It’s important to address these as they can be an impediment to your spiritual growth and in the FiT Programme looking at the kusang within, the dark shades within was imperative. Sree Maa lovingly explains this as follows:



The antar-shatru (inner-enemies) include kãm (lust), krodh (anger), lobh (greed), moh (uncontrolled fascination about something), mãn (pride), irshyã (envy or jealousy), mad (arrogance), matsar (vanity), ãshã (an intense hope for someone or sth), trushnã (desire or yearning for things or someone) and ahankãr (self pride).

Any genuine spiritual seeker would work hard to eradicate these inner enemies through honest reflection, introspection and applying thought processes. In Vachanamrut 15 Gadhada Madya Prakran (p 470) and 4 Gadhada Pratham Prakran (p 25), Shreeji Maharaj explains beautifully how one can tackle such nature and Sree Maa has always graciously guided and supported us non-stop to move past the small/dark/false self into the True SELF,  Brahmroop. But not all who join spiritual circles are genuine as it became clear.

Dallia/Iphigenie, one of the Facilitators in Training (FiT), was overcome by jealousy and envy, in fact by pathological jealousy and envy. She could not stand that others had something she couldn’t have. She was extremely jealous and envious of Sree Maa Shri Ji. Straight from when she met Sree Maa she was keeping a hawk’s eye on what all Sree Maa had and wanted to have what Sree Maa had. If you look at the criteria of people with NPD, jealousy & envy are one of the 9 key criteria, well explained in this interview with NPD-expert Christine Louis de Cannonville https://youtu.be/7RkICmjDNJU  (see 32:30 minutes). Can highly recommend you listen to it.

She not only wanted what Sree Maa had, but also copied what other FiTs had, the clothes Nandini was wearing, the car Simran had etc.. When narcissists can’t have something, they will destroy it. This was Dallia’s main obsession and mission, she was hellbent on destruction. So jealous and envious of Sree Maa Shri Ji that once she confided in one of the Bhagats that she could not stand to see Sree Maa Shri Ji’s face. 

i first met Dallia at an expo at the Gold Coast early 2013. She was asking a lot of questions sussing out information and seemed to like to show off what she had learnt so far. At that time Sree Maa (as well as Shri Ji at times) were regularly travelling to Australia to participate in expos and doing online workshops/trainings. All expos, and promotional material were entirely paid for by Kosmic Fusion and Sree Maa Shri Ji and we as volunteers were very blessed to be involved. Dallia always wanted to know what was going on in Australia. In January of 2013, she convinced Sree Maa that she would also like to volunteer like other volunteers in Sydney, and that’s how she joined the Gold Coast expo. 

Sree Maa had created a beautiful group dynamics within the Sydney volunteers, where everyone was given the freedom to express ideas on how to grow Kosmic Fusion and everybody had a voice. Sree Maa gave everyone equal freedom. Dallia saw this when she volunteered in Gold Coast, and for someone like her, this was something she recognised she was unable to create herself and therefore decided to destroy the group dynamics instead. 

This is also where Dallia met Irene and since then these two have been communicating and discussing via whatsapp, they were mostly gossiping about other FiTs. It’s obvious from their conversations they both were riddled with envy and jealousy and anyone they perceived as better than them and they couldn’t use as their supply had to be removed.

You can see the manipulations and bullying in the email that Dallia sent to Sheree who had been a very dependable and dedicated volunteer in Sydney who always demonstrated integrity and authenticity with a profound understanding of the Gift of Grace, the Quantum Vortex Scalar Wave Photon Pulse that Sree Maa Shri Ji were sharing with the world. It was clear she was jealous of Sheree and did not want her to join the FiT Programme. Do you think a normal, sincere person would send others emails with an aggressive tone like this or this? Surely not. 

Most interesting to note are the whatsapp conversations (full of gossip mongering) Dallia and Irene were having about Sheree and Jabeen and the emails Dallia was sending, where you can actually see their God complex, grandiosity and jealousy. And now these two are crying wolf and saying they are the victim? 

Interesting to note too that in the whatsapp conversations you can also see Dallia targeting Irene by subtlely provoking her by saying how difficult Sree Maa is and Sree Maa’s words are so hurtful so that she would leave as according to Dallia at that time, Irene was contributing and leading so many tasks. Dallia was jealous of Irene too. Narcissists spare no one, not even other narcissists. 

Sree Maa Shri Ji are the epitome of Compassion and Grace and believe in the potential of the Absolute in everyone. Sree Maa lovingly and graciously welcomed anyone to the FiT Programme who wrote a letter to Sree Maa Shri Ji expressing how they were ready and willing to volunteer and serve the mission of Kosmic Fusion - to share the Quantum Vortex Scalar Wave Photon Pulse (QVSWPP) with as many souls as possible. Sree Maa supported all of the FiTs tirelessly no matter their issues to move into embodying our Brahmroop. Dallia too wrote a letter, but in truth she was on a whole other mission.  

After March 2014, Dallia took on the responsibility of Auckland Kosmic Tribe and Meet Ups, and was presenting herself as the face of Kosmic Fusion in NZ. The number of participants attending the meetings after Dallia took on the leading role reduced drastically: from about 25 before she took on the leading role to approx. only  3-4 participants were regularly showing up. Dallia had cunningly driven away all the 5D++ Pulsars and Auckland Meet Up participants by spreading rumours that Kosmic Fusion was a “cult” and by isolating all participants from Sree Maa Shri Ji. Dallia even tried to turn the Meetups into a pick-up place, as she would regularly show up with inappropriate clothing and try to flirt with all the male participants. She was also misrepresenting the key philosophies of Kosmic Fusion - she would call Quantum Vortex Scalar Wave Photon Pulse the “Source Energy”, which was a term made up and used by her.

Spreading her poison as much as possible

She was creating havoc within the New Zealand team, in a way only a narcissist knows how to with triangulations, gaslighting and psychic warfare. Dallia was twisting Sree Maa Shri Ji’s words constantly when talking to participants and 5D++ Pulsars. For example, Dallia had told Sarala that “QVSWPP would protect you 24/7” when Sree Maa Shri Ji had clearly said “QVSWPP would be with you 24/7”. Dallia’s statements created some miscommunications with Sarala, however Sarala still joined the FiT training in May 2015. Dallia was clearly not happy about this, as she went around telling other NZ 5D++ Pulsars and FiT that Sarala had a “dark and dense” energy in her house, and letting everyone know that Sarala had a birthday party but “no one turned up for it”, Dallia had made sure of that. Sarala’s relationships and communications with the other NZ FiT were slowly getting severed through Dallia’s meddling and eventually she left.

Early 2016, the Ashram Project was set up by two NZ FiT, Nandini and Jeeya. It was a trial to see what it would take to run an Ashram based on the Vision Sree Maa had shared about a physical place where people could come and have spontaneous realization of themselves and their Atma. Sree Maa had graciously agreed to support the initiative and to move into the Ashram. As soon as Dallia heard about it, she immediately began showing signs of jealousy and looked upset as was unable to accept that the Ashram Project had been established without her involvement.

In November 2016, Dallia moved into the Ashram after inviting herself to join, she literally planted herself in the Ashram using Jeeya even though she had received most loving guidance from Sree Maa that she was not yet ready. Only after she sorts out her jealousy issues and is debt free would she be ready. Still she forced her way into the Ashram. Please read the Gracious message from Sree Maa sent to Dallia/Iphigenie/Meera, which she told nobody about and completely ignored...

Immediately after Dallia moved into the Ashram, she started to create fights between Nandini and Jeeya, creating distress in the Ashram Project. Dallia was also trying to break Jeeya’s self-confidence and self-esteem by putting Jeeya down, lecturing Jeeya for not being organised, correcting Jeeya’s every Seva and making Jeeya feel confused all the time. Gaslighting this is called. Dallia was playing with Jeeya’s guilt and kept asking Jeeya, “why are you still around? Why don’t you go back to Singapore” and even saying things like “if I am Sree Maa Shri Ji, I would not have you around” just to implicate Sree Maa Shri Ji. Dallia would purposely ruin Sree Maa’s clothing in the laundry and not wash and rinse the brass plates after using the toxic brass polish. Items including jewellery disappeared while Dallia was in the Ashram, just to name a few things. 

Dallia has received countless chances to change and much much guidance and support. Sree Maa had even graced her with the precious name Meera, the name of a humble and renowned devotee of Lord Krishna, to help her move past her old self but Dallia never let go of her vicious intentions and never worked to overcome her deep-rooted issues. Instead she worked hard to cause problems in the FiT group and sowed seeds of doubts everywhere. Narcissists are masters at this and they do so in a very insidious fashion. It is only in hindsight that for me the picture is clear after everything came out. Dallia was a true snake in the grass, slowly and surely spreading her poison into everyone, causing disruption, fights amongst the NZ FiTs and harassment to Sree Maa.

Why was Dallia so obsessed with Sree Maa? Narcissists are drawn to empathetic people. Narcissists know those people have a conscience and will go over and above themselves and if need come sacrifice their own peace to uplift them. The reason why Sree Maa was selected by Dallia, Irene and various other narcissists is because they all knew that Sree Maa will help until the end and they can get away with their tantrums or drama or whatever games they are playing. Sree Maa was surrounded by narcissists in the Ashram House but being the most empathetic and kind Sree Maa would allow the abuse to happen and constantly guide them to help them move beyond their issues. This is true selflessness. And absolute greatness.

You can hear in this audio clip how beautifully Sree Maa Shri Ji is giving a discourse to Dalia about envy and that it is important to overcome this dynamic energy within. Sree Maa gently mentions the example of someone manipulating fellow students to make sure they don't go to the campus party, to help Dallia reflect on what she had done to Sarala.
 

However, Dallia did absolutely nothing to change, quite the opposite and eventually the rest of the FiTs voted her out (see also this public statement). She had not come for her Soul, her sole intention was to destroy as her jealousy and envy completely consumed her. You can hear her own admittance to this in this blog by one of my Kalyan Mitras.

Trust and faith

On any spiritual path, trust and faith are key. On the path of ultimate liberation, trust and faith are indispensable.

The FiT Intake ceremony in October 2013 was all about trust and faith. Sree Maa Shri Ji graciously invited us to join an Awakenin Transformation workshop taking place in Auckland and offered the FiT intake ceremony completely complimentary.

In the Awakenin Transformation workshop, Sree Maa removes the dense obsolete 3D/4D grids, activates the true Soul and Graces each one with a 24/7 connection to the most benevolent Quantum Vortex Scalar Wave Photon Pulse, the Supreme Signature of the Shunya Bindu, the Swaminarayan Mahamantra.

We were asked to lie down under the feet of the new attendees of the workshop and we all knew that it is through the feet that the discordant energies leave. How comfortable were we to lie under the feet of the participants? How much did we trust Sree Maa Shri Ji and the process? i had no problems lying under the feet of the participants.

Shortly after the FiT intake ceremony, i moved back to the Netherlands at Sree Maa Shri Ji’s Guidance. Had big ego resistance but still i went, a leap of faith, but i trusted Sree Maa Shri Ji and moved. Went to the last place my ego wanted to go, back to my parents’ house at the age of 40 in a country i have tried my whole life to run away from.

Everything fell into place graciously. For example, found a job within no time, was picked out of 300 applicants, after having been away from the Netherlands for 8 years and with no network or recent experience in Holland to speak of. If this is not the Grace of Bhagwan,what is?

Sharing a letter that i wrote to my true SELF in April 2014 where you can see my leap of faith verbalized. i still go back to this letter at times. Know in my heart it is only the Grace and Power of Bhagwan that enabled me to write this letter.

Each and every day am humbled by the Greatness and Glory of Bhagwan and my beloved Sarvopari Sadguru Sree Maa. Each day some revelation comes, or out of the blue feel embraced in their Supreme Love and Compassion. Even when the ego is trying to kick up a storm (and before it will leave it will try it’s very best to create drama), unwavering trust and faith sit still and strong in my Atma, whose creator and illuminator is Bhagwan. i know nothing and don't need to know anything as everything is taken care of by the All-Doer, my isht-Dev Bhagwan Swaminarayan. 

How can one not have trust and faith in the Supreme Being, the most benevolent, utmost kind and gracious and supremely All-knowing One and Only One?

There was one of the FiTs, however, who always displayed her lack of trust and faith in subtle and not so subtle ways. Looking back, it is obvious how Dallia/Iphigenie Amoutzias was purposely spreading seeds of doubt. Someone with pathological envy and jealousy cannot bear to see others have what they don’t have. This is not something i am making up, this is something she has admitted to herself at a time when she did reflect a little, at the time of the Reunion. Though it did not last, and she reverted back to her old wounds and intentions. 

Her intention was to destroy Kosmic Fusion and she never let this go. This too she has admitted herself. You can listen to her calmly reading the reflections she wrote in her own time at her own place. Guess she was hoping to ‘buy her way back into the group’ pretending to really want to change and continue her mission of destruction. The fact she is now leading a smear campaign against Kosmic Fusion and beloved Sree Maa Shri Ji shows her true intention.

Like i said, spreading seeds of doubts was Iphigenie/Dallia's modus operandi. Very clever, if you want to make sure the mission of Kosmic Fusion is foiled and souls don’t move forward on their spiritual journey, you would hack at the trust and faith of others. She was entrusted with being the representative of Kosmic Fusion in New Zealand and was the one often hosing the Kosmic Tribe (gatherings of Pulsars) and Kosmic Meetups where anyone could come to experience the Quantum Vortex Scalar Wave Photon Pulse. Behind Sree Maa Shri Ji’s back, she would purposely poison the minds of participants against Sree Maa Shri Ji, especially by sowing seeds of doubt.

She tried it twice with me, once earlier on in 2014, but my reply was i don’t know how, but the faith and trust is just there, unwavering, like a silent anchor i can go back to in any moment. That shut her up. 

Only last year on the India Pilgrimage she gave it another go with me. As we were getting off the bus, she was en passant saying how she had trouble believing in Sree Maa Shri Ji and had a smirk on her face when she said it. i was stunned how someone who was living in the Ashram with their Sarvopari Sadguru could have such doubts. To my question what are you doing in the Ashram then, she never gave an honest answer and tried to divert the topic. But the truth came out anyway, as truth eventually always wins.

Jai Shree Swaminarayan

Beyond the mask

When i recently watch the video testimonials from 2013 that we had given after one of the workshops in Sydney, something struck me. While everyone is humbled and grateful to be so deeply touched by the Quantum Vortex Scalar Wave Photon Pulse and forever indebted to Sree Maa Shri Ji, Irene talks about how she has become an instant healer…. It’s all about her and her healing powers now that she is emitting the Quantum Vortex Scalar Wave Photon Pulse. Where is the non-doer? Where is the homage to Sree Maa Shri Ji, living embodiment of the Quantum Vortex Scalar Wave Photon Pulse, The Supreme Grace lighting up the path of liberation for the True Soul? These are the signs that can make one aware of who you are sharing the space with... Does it scream me me me or is there a sense of humilty, gratitude and awe. 

Tzu-Ling Kuo/Joy/Irene’s testimonial: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3wqjUI_CudA
See other’s testimonials via: https://www.youtube.com/user/kosmicfusion/videos

The mask falls off - it must in the Presence of Absolute Truth

After Irene's true face came out, we all had a good look at all her promotional materials online and offline and it was a shocker to see how she has consistently stolen Kosmic Fusion Intellectual Property. All her materials glorify herself and minimize Sree Maa Shri Ji without whom the Quantum Vortex Scalar Wave would not even be in our lives. She falsely portrays herself as Facilitator of Kosmic Fusion and even gave an interview without permission, using everything the way she wanted for her own selfish motives of attracting ‘clients’ as she called them.

Interestingly, she had made a big scene about two others FiTs in Sydney printing a brochure about Bhakti Bhaav without permission from Sree Maa Shri Ji but forgot to mention what all she was doing behind everyone’s back. As long as everyone’s eyes would be focused on somebody else, no one would clue on to what Irene was doing behind the scenes. Narcissists love creating smokes and mirrors and project their wrong doings onto others.

Nearly fell of my chair when i saw one of the documents Irene had written, well plagiarized really, she had called it 77 benefits of Holistic Freedom (the name of her business). She had copy pasted some text from a website and then inserted Quantum Vortex at her will, even adding her own business name in front of Quantum Vortex, using and abusing the Quantum Vortex Scalar Wave Photon Pulse anyhow she likes. Such disrespect to Sree Maa Shri Ji and this most sacred and benevolent Mother of Energies, Frequencies and Vibrations.  

Her masks finally started to crack during the Reunion held in July 2017. This was organized by the FiTs to come together to honestly look at what each one had contributed to the FiT Programme and to get closure. At one point she pulled me aside and started to fill my ears about others. i did not like that as we are here to look at our own shades not to judge others. While there was an open and honest discussion going on, Irene would disrupt the flow and point fingers at Hanuman, the very seem person whom she had been using and abusing for over 5 years. While everyone was sincerely filling out the questionnaires put together by a few of us to help us reflect, she excused herself and did not want to fill it out. Now we know, she had a lot to hide… 

Embraced by boundless Grace

Sree Maa Shri Ji are the most Kind, Loving and Gracious you will ever come across and believe in the potential of the Absolute in everyone. Sree Maa Shri Ji do not judge anyone, so all types are welcome to join. All the support, all the Love, Grace and Guidance has been given to each and everyone one of the FiT to overcome their issues and move into the non-doer and their higher potential. In fact, Sree Maa has given over and beyond of what is humanly possible. There is no doubt in my heart and mind about the Greatness of Sree Maa Shri Ji, though my mind is not able to fully fathom someone so boundless and unconditionally loving. The entire world says #nocontact with narcissists, but Sree Maa has such a big heart and embraces everyone unconditionally and without any judgement so that radical healing can take place. Please read the mind-blowing blogs of Nandini and Jeeya as they let Sree Maa’s Supreme Grace touch them and help them transform.

Sree Maa Shri Ji, living embodiment of Supreme Grace and Compassion, sharing the most benevolent Quantum Vortex Scalar Wave Photon Pulse unconditionally with all 24/7. It is Sree Maa's ekantik Bhakti to the Supreme holder of the Shunya Bindu, Bhagwan Swaminarayan that we receive as the Quantum Vortex Scalar Wave Photon Pulse. 

P.S.
Only sharing my experiences so that it may be helpful to others in my situation